THE DEEPER MEANING OF "I DO"

It was on a Monday afternoon while my wife was helping me with a bed bath that she asked me to write something about marriage... she gave me the title and I thought it was a good idea.

I have but a few years in marriage but all in all i have experienced it and i can share my short version.

Marriage is/was an institution blessed by God and should be kept Holy. It's a place most young men and women yearn and dream to get into.
Sadly most of them do not understand what it's all about. Some rush into It, others take their sweet time, while others are very scared of it.
Most young people get into marriage for the wrong reasons. Mostly looks (outward appearance) and money.
 It's said that the best preachers are the ones that talk about personal experiences. Things that the audience or listeners can relate to. I too choose to share how marriage life has been to me. What I've learnt so far and what I'm about to experience.
 A few people in the past heard me say that if i were to be single I'd not marry again. I'm sorry guys; the tune has changed. If i were to be single I'd marry the same woman over and over and over again!!
This statement has its foundation from the ordeal that I've been through recently. Life can surely teach you a few lessons.

 I got into marriage at a young age. I was very immature and didn't know how to handle the things it threw at me. I used to dream as a young man that when i get married I'd spend my days smiling, laughing and loving my better half. Little did I know that this was another WWE... marriage wasn't to be a bed of roses. Marriage requires lots of work.

Whatever you sow is what you reap, period!! As a typical African man I thought I'd rule my Home with an iron fist and whatever I said was law. I'm this self righteous man that believes most things I say is right. I imagined being like Idi Amin... Shock on me!! I failed miserably.
Whenever I created chaos and thought that I would win the war, I ended up getting more hurt than I expected. I didn't understand that what you give is what you get.
 I heard from a certain village Luo preacher that if you want a good and beautiful wife just give her THREE things:
1. Cloths to wear
2. Oil to apply on her body
3. Tell her the truth
Sounds funny and easy to do but at the same time these villagers' remarks are very important. And so I provided these things faithfully but I was still not as happy as I thought earlier.

 Not everything you see Is all glam and fairy. One point in time a friend of mine told the husband that she wishes they would love each other like i did with my wife. I was shocked when I heard such... i wish she knew the struggles we were going through just to understand each other especially on that day. I wish she knew how we fight over small things like leaving the toilet seat open or spreading the bed in a way or using certain kitchen utensils or even chewing food... These small arguments could escalate to days of silence especially by me and on Sabbath day we would pretend to be happy for the world to see. Hypocrites!!
I would have my rough days and when I get home my wife would bear all of them; I'd be angry at anyone and everything. Most men surely don't know how to handle problems.

 Great expectations always dissapoint and so Try and be realistic. The person you were dating might not be necessarily the person you will stay with. People change and people can also pretend.

 How I pray that men out there may meet a woman like my wife. This lady can bare a lot and also can pray. In marriage, the key is Prayer. Pray, pray and never cease to Pray!!
 After my accident I've learnt and still learning to appreciate marriage..in this case, my wife. Any other woman could have thrown in the towel because of the things we have gone though and still going through.
It's been a short duration of serious problems and I appreciate her in this institution. Now this is part of the real meaning of I DO. Through bad and good times we are still stuck to one another.

 The biggest challenge in this institution in my view is the attitude of "self." Once you get married, you realize that it is no longer all about you. This is the true meaning of marriage in which ‘I’ becomes ‘We’.
 In your single days, you could make your own plans, come and go as you chose, and basically make most of your decisions according to your own wishes and desires. Now that you are married you have a spouse to consider twenty-four seven. Whether it is what to cook or buy for dinner, what to do over weekends, or where to go on holidays – both of your opinions now carry weight.
In this sense, a happy marriage is one of the best antidotes to selfishness.

 Their is more to marriage than the legal bond. The paper you have is just but a certificate that allows you to legally stay together. The things like anger, ego, intolerance and indifference break up marriages and couples should be wary of them.

Scripture proclaims the value of mutual support or accountability in marriage. We are accountable for how we live our lives and especially in marriage because it is Holy.
 Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falls; for he has not another to help him up. 

 Our everyday decisions matter to God and to those we live with at home. We set the example of how believers reflect Jesus in good and bad times. Our attitudes and actions speak much louder than our words. We must live under the direction of the Holy Spirit being accountable to live righteous lives. Romans 14:12 
“So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God".   

 And so, the deeper meaning of "I Do" lie in believing in the promises you made on day one, being patient and practicing tolerance. Not forgetting, prayer!! 

I'm not perfect by all standards. I'm still in this school that has no graduation and I pray that May The Lord help Me be a better Husband.