MY STORY Part 1
“God gives the greatest challenges to His toughest warriors”
Unknown
Spinal injuries might get you to 3 places namely:
-Death
-Quadriplegia
-Paraplegia
Quadriplegia - is when a person is paralyzed from the neck downwards without sensation.
Paraplegia - is a condition whereby a person is paralyzed from the chest down or waist down depending on the level of injury.(With or without sensation)
My condition is Paraplegia i.e. from the chest down without sensation since I have a spinal injury in the region of (T4 - T7)
After being brought to the hospital and the spinal stabilization was done, I was kept in HDU for close
monitoring. I had memory loss for the first 2 weeks of my stay in hospital. Friends and family came to visit in their numbers and I was told later how I always tried to welcome them with greetings and smiles. Though I had tubes through my nose, oxygen mask in my mouth and bilateral chest tubes through my ribs into my chest cavity, I stretched my hands to welcome my visitors.
Some left dumbfounded, others smiling and others in tears. I guess I was in a very critical condition but just couldn’t see myself from their perspective.
Later on, I was transferred to the General Ward as my condition got better. I could now try to feed myself and also recognize and remember my visitors. Unfortunately, I had no appetite and could only do a few spoonfuls of food during mealtimes.
I could see the worry and sadness in everyone’s eyes but I never broke down.
I didn’t give much thought to my situation and when I wasn't in pain, I tried to cheer up everyone who came to visit. The comedian in me sprung out and there i was cracking jokes and making people laugh as I struggled to laugh on my own. My lungs had collapsed and such I couldn’t get the energy to laugh, sneeze, talk or cough. Every time, I felt like I was running out of breath.
I had serious back pains and a pain specialist by the name of Dr. Mwaka, a very nice gentleman, prescribed morphine and pethidine every 6 hrs for I was in excruciating back pains always. My back and ribs ached so much since I had three broken ribs R3, R4 and R5. I have never felt so much pain in my life. It could only be compared to the pain I felt at Aga Khan Hospital in Kisumu while they were inserting the chest tubes without the use of local anaesthesia: I could feel the doctor pierce through my skin with the surgicalnblade and slide up and down. I screamed in anguish and as I turned I saw my father with his red Kenya branded jacket, and called for him to come and pray with me. I don’t know why I thought of prayer. He came quickly and offered a Word of prayer but I also can’t really remember what he uttered.
I guess it gets to a point in life when all you need IS GOD!!!!
And as I was screaming in anguish and pain, I was later informed that my mum couldn’t stand the sight and she walked out of the emergency room. The pains of a child, surely, it's only the parents who can understand. My stay in the wards was nothing close to fun. Every now and again I was writhing in pain and my back and ribs would ache so badly. I still don’t understand why the pains came mostly in the night.
One night I was in so much pain that I prayed and cried while holding and squeezing the hospital bed rails but the pains never ceased. I rang the bell to call the nurse for some painkillers and when he came, he only offered me paracetamol. I asked for morphine/pethidine and he said, “ you can’t be taking narcotics like that…..” I begged him and even told him to call Dr. Mwaka but he was adamant. I willnnever forget that night. Time has never gone so slow. It was like the sun refused to rise and the night refused to go away. Darkness seems to have held the night in a strategic pause seemingly to punish me, and my supplications to the Lord felt like they were just hitting the ceiling and bouncing back.
Finally after what seemed like eternity, morning came and beside my bed I saw my brother in law, Chief Andrew. My silence and facial expression could easily convince someone that all was not fine. As I held tightly to the rails, he asked me what was wrong and I told him about my night and the nurse who refused to help me.
Lots of things happened in the hospital , so many experiences that it would take lots of ink and several pens to pen down. In bed I couldn't move at all. If I needed to move, I had to ring the bell and ask for help. And because I was heavy (115 kgs), moving me was quite some task. Daily, it took about 4 - 6 people to lift me or turn me on my side or to a chair using a draw sheet.I HATED IT!!! The pain, the stress and somewhat, the embarrassment was just too much. In my mind I still hadn’t come to terms with what had happened.
I always believed that I was a strong man: physically strong and strong in spirit but now, here was I, being assisted to do everything. Here I was with a catheter that I used to urinate and diapers to empty my bowels. The saddest part and most embarrassing part was being washed and having my diapers changed. I no longer could control my urine or bowel movements. Something that was private and a “holy” moment all of a sudden was now for everyone and anyone to see. I couldn’t imagine myself in this situation. I had heard of such but I had never imagined it could happen to me.
How life changes!!!!
If there was a moment that humbled me were the times that my diapers were being changed. These are the times when I prayed to my God. I was so embarrassed and felt so helpless. How I still wish my God could hear my prayers and answer me. One day when they were doing the diaper change and after stripping me naked and turning me sideways, my bowels decided to open up, there and then. I closed my eyes and offered the usual prayer to God and shed some tears. I felt bad because I wasn’t in control. I heard one of them saying “Let him finish before we can clean him up.”
Have you ever wished you died? This was the time I felt very bad and wished I had died. Life wasn’t worth such embarrassment and pain.
It's very weird that we can at times afford to laugh amidst problems. I had a physiotherapist who used to come every day to exercise my limbs. One day as we were exercising and he stretched my leg up in the air, something happened. I let out a huge fart in his face. For some weird reason, I felt that was funny and as I quickly mumbled “ I’m sorry”, I was also dying with laughter. I couldn’t help it. The man continued, but I could see that he wasn’t pleased at all. Later that day when family came over, I told them of my ordeal without shame and we all burst into a fit of laughter. What a day!!!! Family knows how to enjoy funny moments!!!!
The next day the physiotherapist came over again and surprisingly the same thing happened. I let out another fart into his face. I had a stupid grin on my face, struggling to suppress the full laughter that was boiling within me like an angry volcano ready to burst. An awkward silence engulfed the space of time as i struggled to hide my laughter. I could vividly see that he was not getting pleased by what was happening, but what could I do? I wasn’t in control of what I was doing.
I could only imagine how many farts the guy must have been surving through in the course of his duty. I laughed till tears came out of my eyes. What a happy moment that was!!!
Life as a paraplegic is teaching me many things. Im learning:
-To be humble
-To be patient
-To be slow to anger
-To ask for help
-To talk to God
Many times it gets to a situation where you can only remember your Creator. When I look back at the events that have gone by I can surely say that it is not the hand of man that delivered me, IT IS GOD!!!!
And so much as I have a supportive wife or family to share my problems with, I resort to talking to my Creator. My deepest secrets, desires, my pains, ONLY GOD can sort out.
If it were not for God then I would not have survived the accident. If it were not of the Almighty then I wouldn't have been discovered with high Potassium levels of 9.0 and I wouldn’t have been taken for dialysis.
God surely works in mysterious ways. I don't understand Him. I am still trying to figure out His ways. After several weeks, I was discharged from Aga Khan and taken for rehabilitation at Spinal Injury Unit, Nairobi. In whatever situation, God still wants us to acknowledge Him and say thank you.
At Spinal Injury Unit, I met two quadraplegic patients, Peter and Anthony. In my heart, I felt pity for them. These two gentlemen could hardly move their heads. Most of the time they could call the nurse to come and move their hands from one position to another.
I felt like I could shed tears, just watching them and thanked God for my situation. I couldn’t imagine being like them. How could I survive?
It is said that God only allows us to be tempted with temptations that we can handle (1c Cor. 10:13).
For sure, God knows that I couldn’t handle quadriplegia because my situation was way too close to that. And so I have learnt that in every situation, just give thanks to the Almighty.
I might be disabled physically but my thinking capacity is not disabled and additionally, God gave me my hands to write, touch and feel.
I always tell my friends and family that GOD CHOSE me for this. It could have been someone else but like He chose His servant Job for Satan to tempt, He chose me.
The question is, am I going to emerge a victor or will I succumb to the snares and temptations of the evil one?
This is what I believe: I am already a Victor!!!!
I’m already walking in the Spirit and the Name of the Lord shall be magnified always in my life. The Lord loves me so much that He allowed this situation to come into my life so that I could confess my sins and recognize His existence.
If I wasn't in this situation, I could not have lived to write these things and share my story with the world. Life for sure has a way of turning things around and God is the owner of it.
God gave me a second and third chance to be able to see my family and friends. To spend time with my son, mend my ways and understand the importance of family.
Jeremiah 33:3 says “...Call unto me and I will show you great and mighty things that you know not of”
God gives the greatest challenge to His greatest warriors!!
I believe that I am a Great Warrior in the army of the Lord. I’m in the furnace being beaten and burned as a sword in the fire in preparation for my task ahead.
If I had one wish it would be to walk again but if the Lord sees it fit that I remain as I am, so be it!
I only ask for life and strength that I may live to inherit the kingdom of God. May the Lord continue to open ways and give me resources to go through this and finally may the Lord continue to bless my family and friends. What could I have done without them?
Thanks to friends like David, Obed and Dr Mogere Steve. These people have taught me what friends are. May the Lord bless them abundantly. Thanks to the church as well. Salvation is Costly indeed. Most times I have thought to myself that if this condition is what will cost me to remember and reviere God then so be it. Let me forever remain like this till Jesus comes back.
How I wish I could go in the night and erase all the pain in the world, and people could wake up in the morning to a peaceful and beautiful world…. How I wish!!!!!!
Lord please come back soon because your children are weary. In the meantime, prepare me for my home in heaven.
Amen !!!!
Special Thanks to:
The Almighty God
My wife, Millicent and my son Cristian Malik
My dear folks
My brother Lawrence and wife Julie & Family
My dear Uncle steve
My beloved friends David, Obed & Dr. Mogere
My brother in law Chief and my sister Lorna
My brother in law Gilly
My relatives, Victor and Ian
My cousins Angie and Liz
My Church NLSDAC and Lavington SDA
And several other people I can't count.
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